Monday, 12 February 2018


January 2017, whilst being just over a year ago now. It was my first encounter with the wicked monster, “Enrol Now”. Yet, I was fortunate enough to have the upper hand, I only had to click defer and he was swallowed whole…poof…evil be gone!

In 2017 I commenced my gap year and it did me some good. So much so that October 2017, when I had to open the door that the grisly, “Enrol Now”, had jumped out from 9 months prior I got a shock. This “monster” did not exist and the impossible tasks he wanted me to complete weren’t impossible. (Monsters Inc is replaying in my mind, the millennial Disney days)
Since then the process of preparing for my first days at university has included more monsters. Or at least the form is monstrously overwhelming.

Likewise the beginning of February, I received an email to plan my Orientation/freshers or “O-week” at Curtin. I shrieked, ignored it, made lunch then a text message from my friend pressed me to read the email. I found myself being overwhelmed with new information, choice, decisions, this path that path. I couldn’t handle hence I took a week break with the “boo’s” echoing in the background.
I see the trend clearly now, especially facing situations that I am new to. I peek and everything bellows “boo” then I close my eyes, turn and hightail it to my shell.  Sometime later, I open the door once more, walk a few steps and no monster in waiting, no “boo” after I peek. In fact, this time it’s me who says “boo” , as it should be.

The latest “peek-a-boo” moment I conquered was the Monday a week before my university orientation. I received a notification on my laptop, an email in regard to a course. I also heard a minor “boo” and continued baking banana muffins. Half an hour later, I sat down to complete my orientation timetable, which I had now overwhelmed. I had by now read the new email, which was asking me to book myself a time-slot for a 40-minute short essay, compulsory of course. Obviously, I hightailed it back to comfort zone. “Really? Me? Ready? Not Today”. However, I went back to that email on the same day. After completing my O-week timetable I found the site, I booked my time and jotted down the building number. I had done it!

Am I recommending that you should approach that which overwhelms you in a similar fashion? Muster up the courage to lift a pinkie and peek behind the door. If you see anything monster like, hear a snarl or even feel a presence that challenges you. Shut the door and stay where you are. Until a day when someone will open the door with you or you feel less overwhelmed.
Am I offering such advice? Should I?

I don’t believe so. I do want to pass on the encouragement I have received. I went from needing 9 months to open one door. To opening and walking through the door even after shrieking 2 hours before. Feeling overwhelmed, afraid, unsure is not comfortable nor does it settle already present anxieties. Sure, enough you possibly could name at least one person you know personally whose been through a similar circumstance. Yet, we can never compare our first time to his or hers. I may know that I can survive and do these things before me. But there are many other emotions that beg to differ.

I have done a lot of mental running and evading. There have been many new situations I’ve been thrust in. I’m grateful I haven’t been alone, I’ve had family and friends supporting me. Yet my struggle has been facing these “doors”, these new responsibilities, tasks, jobs, freedoms, decisions and being scared by what I must take on and complete. There are really no monsters just situations that seem to ask so much of us, require and need a certain type of person. They can be monstrously overwhelming. Granted especially when we are new to them. However, we can never fear them. Or believe we have not got what it takes to move forward and thrive.

Most times I’ve called it a day and walked away. But I have come back. I have been led to conquer. I have been shown that I do not need to melt in a boiling pot of stress and anxieties.
Despite initially being overwhelmed. I must say the past year I’ve grown to know that I can. I don’t back away because I can’t. I need to stop scaring myself. There is nothing to fear. No matter how loud the “boo”, you have nothing to fear. Even if it’s that unfamiliar I don’t need to stress, I can peek and walk further in.
“Cos I’ve got it in me and you do too.” Even if you hear the echoes and they scare you away, never believe the doubt and lie that you can’t. You can.

Life walks are different but a consistent is the shock of what we have never done. No one can prepare us for the mixed emotions taking steps forwards. Know that you’re not alone and you can.

Bear with

Tari xx

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