Livin' on the Edge

Sunday, 4 March 2018

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If you are preparing to make a jump in your life. Possibly graduation, a new apprenticeship, Tafe course; university, new relationship or moving home. Whichever out of the many changes in life. You can't approach it while dangling your legs on the edge of a ledge. There are many things we can remain for awhile uncertain and undecided. However, who we are, what we believe, how we act and our truth. We mustn't be fence sitters on such. Though the decision to stand as we are may be frightful or dangerous depending on our situations. We must never live on edge of who we are and who we are not.

I have surprised myself on my own personal connections with people I've encountered during my university orientation and first week of classes. This girl got numbers and names.
Yet, to say the past two weeks I have been in many conversations, in different groups, people from all walks of life. There is honestly a light from such connections. The good times and good vibes, thinking about them has me smiling to myself. Yet. The likelihood of finding yourself with people who think differently, have a truth unlike yours and actions also. This is a regular occurrence and a good one I have found.

A week ago I had a question asked that threw me off, "Tari do you not swear?". Truthfully, the person who asked wasn't one who I thought was paying much attention to me, any of the times we were in contact. Yet, the question would suggest otherwise.
Strangely I was proposed the same question again. Except this time someone I'd only just met 2 hours prior and who I assumed was paying no heed to me.
My response each time was neutral, initially as I was thrown off. I frankly didn't believe that either persons noticed I was in the room. Seems I was wrong.

I have not thought about changing my truth to fit in. Though the questions initially threw me off as did the thought that my stance on cussing would divide us. Spoiler alert, it hasn't.
This small experience is one of the few I have had since stepping into a larger world where people are on their walks, in their own truth.
In an effort to connect and being included in the connections forming I know there is a temptation to slip into a new skin. To conform to the rhythm in the moment.
And yet we can't live with such a lack of dignity. Never mind what others will perceive of us denying who we are. What about the self harm we cause when we act?
Won't we tire? Slipping from one skin and truth into another.

Its the cliche, "be who you are". It is a good truth and wisdom. Especially, when we face all the colours in this world. The different people, their actions, speech and truth. We can be be intimidated, trying to connect, befriend and include. Despite this, we don't aim for ourselves to wind up hurting in the dark ashamed of actions unlike us. Acting mighty when we have never been so high, pushing our limits when we have by far surpassed them.
For nothing, not even to save a love should we trade ourselves in. We must not be fence sitters, sat undecided, ashamed and hiding switching from left to right.

Whilst you and I are deliberating and grading our social interaction progress. They are watching listening. There is someone acknowledging and noticing us. Someone loving us.
Lets not worry about the words we aren't hearing.
Lets see the clear actions taking place.
Lets not drag our spirit's down.
We rise, we stand, we walk as we are.
Live on the edge, take risks and venture into your great calling. But do not live on the edge of your truth a place where you can easily slip and fall.

Bear With

Tari xx

As I never really replied to those that asked on my limited cussing.  It is my choice not to cuss, I do feel uncomfortable with the words rolling off my tongue. Hearing them is not an issue. Not to say they've never been dished out and often aren't thought of in my head or slipped out in some odd moments. I am only uncomfortable with them being rolled of my own tongue, so when I say them. I have no issues or prejudice against anyone who acts differently. As long as it is not in the form of verbal harassment of which I haven't found myself in such situations. Its a choice based on my faith and person. If you ever want to chat about it sure. Otherwise this girl isn't a judge, feel free to be who you are.
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