Sunday, 12 August 2018

6 things that you should embrace as you age

At the age of 14 as my friends all turned 15, I taunted them for being half-way to 30. My attitudes to age, as a 14 year old were fearful and negative. Since then I have grown from a naive and frightened young teenager, I am not afraid of aging, having been taught it is not a determinant for what someone can achieve, neither is it a guarantee of where we should be.

With each extra candle and decade of life we enter there is a shift in our postivity and acceptance of the inevitable and gradually the social stigma over aging is shifting directions.

As it does and we accept age as a number, here are 6 things we must come to embrace with each new season:

 1. Yourself 

Embracing yourself through all seasons of your life and loving yourself internally and externally is paramount. A deep self love (not to be mistaken with vanity) can build your confidence, self worth and respect. With respect for yourself, you shake of the shackles of validation and leave yourself free to invest in good and healthy relationships. Your more aware of how your life is better without that toxic relationship or person.

Also, it could be difficult to love what the years add on, whether it be the aftermath of puberty or the signs of the times. Loving the body that is yours for life bodes you well, encourages you to make the small changes which can play a big role in sustaining or regaining our health. This is your body, your home.

2. Your current point in life

Amandla Stenberg, a popular young actress and I are the same age, 19. Now I may or may not strive for an occupation similar to Amandla Stenberg's.
She was the first 19 year old famous person I saw on my google search.
For examples sake, I'm an aspiring actress and model, and have a great Instagram swoop and internet swat of Amandla's recent activity, and hurl myself into a deep frustration over her progress and achievements despite being the same age.
Say, I if you have ever tangled yourself in the web of social comparison?

In the past I have found it so easy to compare where I am now to where others are, irrespective of age. It is unfortunate that the toxic and destructive outcomes of social comparison can often outweigh the reflective benefits.
What a path to irrational self sabotage. Proceeding to taunt yourself on your "lack off", of whilst disregarding our difference in circumstances, skills, dreams, opportunities and personality. We may be the same age, we could share similar goals or morals but we are not one and the same.

Embrace where you are in life, irrespective of where others your age are or where a person you admire was at that age. The number is the same but your points and lives are different. There is no shame. The more shame and dissatisfaction you entertain and validate, the more self-esteem you demolish and the farther you distance yourself from your path. Step into "your season" and seize every morning and night.

3. How you journey

Just as we can stress over where people were at versus us, at a  particular age. We struggle as we compare ourselves, to acknowledge the difference in circumstances. We are never privy to all the details, disruptions and disappointments those we compare to struggled with. Yet, we can still envy their beginning, middle and end.
We can garner inspiration and influence to push us through tough moments without dismissing these tough trials that are a part of our lives.

Respect your journey and how it is different to others, it can shape you for the better, it will hold lessons and experiences for you at the right times, it may not be easy but its willed to deliver you to great destinations.

4. Who you journey with or without

I loved the social media declaration,
"no more toxic friendships in 2018,
no more toxic relationships in 2018
and no more toxic thoughts in 2018"

However, it is not just in 2018 that we declare "NO" to toxicity. There is a maturity as we grow that enables us to reflect and heal as the people who are closest to us come and go or some relationships have to take less importance for the better of everyone.
The people around me are some of the best parts of my life, who I have shared and hope to share more of the best parts of my life with. There are also people who once were with me in some of my best parts but the true nature of our relationship led us to drift. 
Its not to say I have severed ties with people but I have matured to be aware of the relationships I am in. I strive for the good and healthy over many. My time is invested better and my closest relationships are my strongest, I have just as much freedom to make new friendships and still remain content because I have my own dear best friends and new friendships are not for becoming everyone's best friend. They are precious encounters that can be temporary but I am grateful for their existence.

With each season do not fear as you journey on with those who truly care and wish to be a part of your life. Enjoy your time with them and never go to bed angry at one another.


Growth and learning are united at times. Often learning comes hand in hand with having made a mistake or a mess. I have never been fond of this, especially as a child when there would be a rebuke or a lecture. I may look innocent but I wasn't an angel.
To this day this is what I struggle to embrace in life most, the occurrence of mistakes. The messes I make along the way of which I have to live through the consequences as well as learning the lesson. Why does learning the lesson often include experiencing the consequences.

I have no answer.

However, I have grown to recognise the messages in the mistakes or messes I must learn from. Whilst some situations are unfortunate through growth I have not come to regret any of those decisions, some of them being my first opportunity to make such decisions.
Granted the times are not always the pleasant but we do ourselves a service to learn from the experience. Even if we never understand or its decades down before we do, the message.

 6. Your age as a number

As the cliche goes, "age is just a number". So embrace it as one. Leave the assumptions of where you should be, what you should have achieved and who you should or shouldn't have found at the age you are. Leave it at the door and be on with your life journey. Resist limitations and refuse the restrictions to fully enjoy the twist and turns of your life adventure. Of course the changes we experience as we biologically age can have their affect but to what extent on the quality of our life. Keep jiving on till your knees can not support your hip twisting and nay-naying, don't stop because some silly geese deem you out of the loop or old.

I declare we should embrace life continuously. It is not perfect for anyone. However, there is joy to be had. With or without understanding our purpose we should still allow the desires of our hearts to be pursued.
We should embrace our lives and live them with no fear of the number of years we have walked on this earth already or have left to do so. We should take it as a blessing to hope for more and when delivered a new morning, be it cold or cloudy, we should be grateful for the new dawn.

There really is no fear to be had. The fear is behind what will happen if we don't. So lets seize this minute and the next to live the "good life".

bear with xx

Edit: 20/09/2018

A huge thank you to Kate Monaghan for being my photographer and making sense of my impossible vision. Thank you beautiful. 


  1. Your journeying is fabulous young one. I'm half way to 42 and I feel like I was only kicked out of the pram yesterday

    - lifesalad

  2. Still finding our feet haha. Thank you xx

  3. The seasons of your life are carving you into this beautiful flower that leaves me speechless every time I rest my eyes upon her. Keep being an inspiration to many, mine amongst! Much LOVE babe. xx

    1. With people like you in my life I have no doubt I will be encouraged to never stop. Thanks for being along as I blossom babe!!


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